photoshop turns the ordinary into extra-ordinary.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
New Camera!
Thanks to my generous parents, I am the proud new owner of a Canon EOS 300d.
you know what that means? no more film.
Shutter Speed: 1/2500 sec.
Apereture: f/5.6
ISO: 400
-1 step exposure compensation.
as if you cared.
--josh
you know what that means? no more film.
Shutter Speed: 1/2500 sec.Apereture: f/5.6
ISO: 400
-1 step exposure compensation.
as if you cared.
--josh
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
albums that you should have, but probably don't.
I have a desire to write music reviews.
but no one wants to read about an album they already own.
So i shall take it upon me to write reviews of albums you haven't bought.
yet.
album #1 that you should have, but probably don't:
Copeland -- In Motion (2004)
This band and album took me completely by surprise. Labeled by Militia Group, lots of people have heard the name somewhere but no one knows the band very well. The album spans a wide range of piano rock with an infusion of east-coast distorted guitar; they could be compared to bands like Mae. But by the same token, this work is utterly original and a comfort and joy to listen to.
The first thing that stood out to me about this record is the quality of songwriting, both lyricially and musically. The chords are just large enough, the drums just soft enough, and the lead vocals are amazing. The timbre of his voice has a quality to it thats hard to describe, and the only other person i've heard sing even close to it is Asad from fly upright kite. He sits high up on the register, and the tone is unique and stupendous. Musically, nothing is really far out of the box, but it sounds absolutely lovely.
Lyrically, this album is amazing. The writing is sensitive and metaphorical with out being confusing or freaking emo. A lot of bands on the indie fringe are very hard to lyrically understand, early Death Cab being a prime example. (bend to squares five or six times? wtf?) But these guys know how to write. I love it.
Best of all, these guys show so much class with their work. The album art is solid, and the label is respectable. But seriously, not too many piano rock bands are cool enough to put a waltz-time ballad (complete with accordion) in the middle of their album? and actually pull it off?
go buy this thing. just do it.
but no one wants to read about an album they already own.
So i shall take it upon me to write reviews of albums you haven't bought.
yet.
album #1 that you should have, but probably don't:
Copeland -- In Motion (2004)
This band and album took me completely by surprise. Labeled by Militia Group, lots of people have heard the name somewhere but no one knows the band very well. The album spans a wide range of piano rock with an infusion of east-coast distorted guitar; they could be compared to bands like Mae. But by the same token, this work is utterly original and a comfort and joy to listen to.
The first thing that stood out to me about this record is the quality of songwriting, both lyricially and musically. The chords are just large enough, the drums just soft enough, and the lead vocals are amazing. The timbre of his voice has a quality to it thats hard to describe, and the only other person i've heard sing even close to it is Asad from fly upright kite. He sits high up on the register, and the tone is unique and stupendous. Musically, nothing is really far out of the box, but it sounds absolutely lovely.
Lyrically, this album is amazing. The writing is sensitive and metaphorical with out being confusing or freaking emo. A lot of bands on the indie fringe are very hard to lyrically understand, early Death Cab being a prime example. (bend to squares five or six times? wtf?) But these guys know how to write. I love it.
Best of all, these guys show so much class with their work. The album art is solid, and the label is respectable. But seriously, not too many piano rock bands are cool enough to put a waltz-time ballad (complete with accordion) in the middle of their album? and actually pull it off?
go buy this thing. just do it.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Massage for the mind
You ever get a knot in your back?
Knots never hurt very sharply, but whenever you bend or stand up or lift something, they remind you of their exsistance.
We can't ever get knots out of our back by ourselves, we have to employ one of our friends who is versed in the art of massage. Massage is sort of uncomfortable experience, and when the person on your back is working out a knot, it burns. But when you stand up, the knots are gone, and so is the dull pain in your back.
People get knots in their heads and hearts too. They're the places where we are lying to ourselves. The head and the heart are very closely knit (modern humanity doesn't want you to know that), and when there's a "knot" in one, theres usually a knot in the other. And just as the knots in one's back, it's quite difficult to work them out by one's self. And, just as the knots in one's back, it hurts when you take them out.
When you start pressing on the hard spots in people's minds, you bring forward many things that aren't usually seen. You learn a lot about the person you're pressing on, and more often than not they learn something about themselves. The confrontation between what is true and what our heads tell us is very hard, because the flaw lies not in facts but in logic itself. The only thing we can hold up as true fact is the Word of God.
When was the last time we confronted the knots in our minds with truth?
And what would happen if we did?
Knots never hurt very sharply, but whenever you bend or stand up or lift something, they remind you of their exsistance.
We can't ever get knots out of our back by ourselves, we have to employ one of our friends who is versed in the art of massage. Massage is sort of uncomfortable experience, and when the person on your back is working out a knot, it burns. But when you stand up, the knots are gone, and so is the dull pain in your back.
People get knots in their heads and hearts too. They're the places where we are lying to ourselves. The head and the heart are very closely knit (modern humanity doesn't want you to know that), and when there's a "knot" in one, theres usually a knot in the other. And just as the knots in one's back, it's quite difficult to work them out by one's self. And, just as the knots in one's back, it hurts when you take them out.
When you start pressing on the hard spots in people's minds, you bring forward many things that aren't usually seen. You learn a lot about the person you're pressing on, and more often than not they learn something about themselves. The confrontation between what is true and what our heads tell us is very hard, because the flaw lies not in facts but in logic itself. The only thing we can hold up as true fact is the Word of God.
When was the last time we confronted the knots in our minds with truth?
And what would happen if we did?
Monday, March 06, 2006
these are pretty good...
i went the photo-cd route this time, i'm MUCH happier with the results.
checkit!:
checkit!:
Friday, January 20, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Monday, November 14, 2005
marching bands of manhattan
If I could open my arms
and span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are
making a lake of the East River and Hudson
And if I could open my mouth
wide enough for a marching band to march out of
they would make your name sing
and bend through alleys and bounce off other buildings.
I wish we could open our eyes
to see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
if you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you said
that I live like a hermit in my own head
but when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown
Your love is gonna drown
Your love is gonna...
and span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are
making a lake of the East River and Hudson
And if I could open my mouth
wide enough for a marching band to march out of
they would make your name sing
and bend through alleys and bounce off other buildings.
I wish we could open our eyes
to see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
if you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you said
that I live like a hermit in my own head
but when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown
Your love is gonna drown
Your love is gonna...
the Desire
I have an interesting connundrum before me.
I have a lesson to learn about God's perfect love. Its been coming to me for a while now. Because of several different things, I have been lately looking for emotional fufilment in places besides God's heart. This is something that needs to be remedied.
Tonight, i found myself talking through this with a friend of mine. The way i get to a problem is to say everything i think about it until something stops making sense to me and i can figure out why. I got there tonight.
I have an esteem complex. I really do not see myself as an attractive person, due to many things people have said/done to me in the past, and in my narrow High School world that makes me not as good as everyone surrounding me who is. I spent a weekend at CuddleFest 2005 (gotta love church kids on a ministry retreat, damn) and i couldnt figure out whether i was more frustrated with the fact that i had to look at it all the time or the fact that it was not me being laid on top of. Thus tonight i'm feeling especially ugly. Woohoo, less complaining more explaining.
So, in my mind, in order for something(s) that people have made clear to me over and over and over again (or perhaps they havent, and i'm just a negative nancy. No matter at this point) to all of a sudden be untrue, someone hasta prove it to me. In this case, someone has to prove to me that i am an attractive and allright guy. Otherwise i'm never going to believe it.
My freind tried to convince me that being attractive isn't all about looks and that intelligence is a much bigger factor. I told her to draw me a map to the magical land where thats actually true, cause i must be in the wrong country. Nobody is proving to me that having a halfway-brilliant hunk of brain upstairs is more attractive than a smooth tounge and nice abs. They are continually telling me the opposite. Example: I have certian friend ask me tonight about the moral implications of her Non-Commital Make Out session with some dude i dont know. I'm not condemning nor commending NCMOs, but the entire time were talking about this i'm thinking, "why didnt she ever consider making out with me on a non-commital basis? I'm a fairly cute guy, and i'm nice! She said so herself!" To my knowledge, no one has ever had a desire to stick their face on mine. At least not a strong enough desire to manifest. And that sort of hurts. Actually, not even sort of. Just hurts.
So since no one is proving to me that i'm an attractive and therefore worthful person in highschool terms, that must mean i'm ugly and worthless, right?
...Jesus didn't think so.
After being educated on the Hebrew cultural context of Jesus's ministry, i understand all the more fully what it meant when jesus chose his disciples. And in turn chose me.
...so Jesus has proven to me that i am worthful. He thinks i'm something special.
therefore, by my own model, i must be something special. He proves it to me by allowing me to be his disciple, his 'talmid', and to try and be just like him.
Back in the day, that was a priviledge that Rabbi such as Jesus only gave to the best of the best.
So logically, i'm worth something.
...but i still want to be wanted by a girl.
...i still really wish my friend was making out non-commital-ly with me instead of the guy i don't know.
...and i still want to be worth something in highschool terms.
as shallow as that is, and as much of a mistake it would be to try and seriously pursue those things, i want them.
I'm almost believing that i've been given a choice.
I really wonder if God would give me those 3 things if i asked for them. If he would allow me to make and therefore learn from that mistake.
(cause after all, no one has thought i was attractive up to now, right? it would take God's intervention for that to happen. ::chuckles softly::)
I wonder.
And i wonder if i have the guts enough to actually ask for it.
--josh
I have a lesson to learn about God's perfect love. Its been coming to me for a while now. Because of several different things, I have been lately looking for emotional fufilment in places besides God's heart. This is something that needs to be remedied.
Tonight, i found myself talking through this with a friend of mine. The way i get to a problem is to say everything i think about it until something stops making sense to me and i can figure out why. I got there tonight.
I have an esteem complex. I really do not see myself as an attractive person, due to many things people have said/done to me in the past, and in my narrow High School world that makes me not as good as everyone surrounding me who is. I spent a weekend at CuddleFest 2005 (gotta love church kids on a ministry retreat, damn) and i couldnt figure out whether i was more frustrated with the fact that i had to look at it all the time or the fact that it was not me being laid on top of. Thus tonight i'm feeling especially ugly. Woohoo, less complaining more explaining.
So, in my mind, in order for something(s) that people have made clear to me over and over and over again (or perhaps they havent, and i'm just a negative nancy. No matter at this point) to all of a sudden be untrue, someone hasta prove it to me. In this case, someone has to prove to me that i am an attractive and allright guy. Otherwise i'm never going to believe it.
My freind tried to convince me that being attractive isn't all about looks and that intelligence is a much bigger factor. I told her to draw me a map to the magical land where thats actually true, cause i must be in the wrong country. Nobody is proving to me that having a halfway-brilliant hunk of brain upstairs is more attractive than a smooth tounge and nice abs. They are continually telling me the opposite. Example: I have certian friend ask me tonight about the moral implications of her Non-Commital Make Out session with some dude i dont know. I'm not condemning nor commending NCMOs, but the entire time were talking about this i'm thinking, "why didnt she ever consider making out with me on a non-commital basis? I'm a fairly cute guy, and i'm nice! She said so herself!" To my knowledge, no one has ever had a desire to stick their face on mine. At least not a strong enough desire to manifest. And that sort of hurts. Actually, not even sort of. Just hurts.
So since no one is proving to me that i'm an attractive and therefore worthful person in highschool terms, that must mean i'm ugly and worthless, right?
...Jesus didn't think so.
After being educated on the Hebrew cultural context of Jesus's ministry, i understand all the more fully what it meant when jesus chose his disciples. And in turn chose me.
...so Jesus has proven to me that i am worthful. He thinks i'm something special.
therefore, by my own model, i must be something special. He proves it to me by allowing me to be his disciple, his 'talmid', and to try and be just like him.
Back in the day, that was a priviledge that Rabbi such as Jesus only gave to the best of the best.
So logically, i'm worth something.
...but i still want to be wanted by a girl.
...i still really wish my friend was making out non-commital-ly with me instead of the guy i don't know.
...and i still want to be worth something in highschool terms.
as shallow as that is, and as much of a mistake it would be to try and seriously pursue those things, i want them.
I'm almost believing that i've been given a choice.
I really wonder if God would give me those 3 things if i asked for them. If he would allow me to make and therefore learn from that mistake.
(cause after all, no one has thought i was attractive up to now, right? it would take God's intervention for that to happen. ::chuckles softly::)
I wonder.
And i wonder if i have the guts enough to actually ask for it.
--josh
Friday, October 21, 2005
ok, spilling time.
In order to sort through things, i need to put down everytihng i feel in one place. Thats what this thing is for. Its not going to be anything new, cause anyone who actually reads this thing already knows whats going through my head.
I never seen myself reduced to such a wreck. I really haven't. I've been distracted by the same freaking thing for 5 months now. My brain has CONSTANTLY been a certian somewhere else. It makes me so angry! For 3 weeks of the summer i was someplace completly isolated from her and i still managed to get distracted. What sort of awesomeness could have taken place if i had been COHERENT?? I feel like i've let christ down. Cause i have. I mean, yeah we all do but this is just pathetic.
This entire thing went from good to great to Height of Awesomeness and immediatly went plunging down into the depths of Ugly and Horrid and Painful. At least for me. Not even sure if she cares. I have felt ugly, unactractive, somewhat worthless, and utterly retarded. And what went down supports all of those things. Its horrible!! And the worst thing is is that i know none of it is true, but i dont know it at the same time.
I have a great need to leave this thing where it belongs, in some pit. I need to drop it and never pick it up again. But i cannot find any way to jettison these feelings, to forget any of it. And i cannot stop thinking about it.
I have driven myself officially mad. And gosh darn it, its frustrating!
I never seen myself reduced to such a wreck. I really haven't. I've been distracted by the same freaking thing for 5 months now. My brain has CONSTANTLY been a certian somewhere else. It makes me so angry! For 3 weeks of the summer i was someplace completly isolated from her and i still managed to get distracted. What sort of awesomeness could have taken place if i had been COHERENT?? I feel like i've let christ down. Cause i have. I mean, yeah we all do but this is just pathetic.
This entire thing went from good to great to Height of Awesomeness and immediatly went plunging down into the depths of Ugly and Horrid and Painful. At least for me. Not even sure if she cares. I have felt ugly, unactractive, somewhat worthless, and utterly retarded. And what went down supports all of those things. Its horrible!! And the worst thing is is that i know none of it is true, but i dont know it at the same time.
I have a great need to leave this thing where it belongs, in some pit. I need to drop it and never pick it up again. But i cannot find any way to jettison these feelings, to forget any of it. And i cannot stop thinking about it.
I have driven myself officially mad. And gosh darn it, its frustrating!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Rock show.
Latley, I've been having a reoccuring daydream.
I'm playing drums at a rock show, with my Hypothetical Band. Our name is The Froidian Symphony, and we're all wearing sweet clothes.
We're playing a song that I wrote the lyrics to. It's about this one girl I used to know. She was very pretty, and stole away like 6 months of my life. Can't say i was that happy about it at the time. So i wrote a song about the experience. It has piercing lyrics and a gut-wrenching, tear-jerking chorus.
(you gotta note, this daydream is like 2 years in the future. And you gotta note that it isnt ever gonna happen, i cant write songs.)
And so i'm playing drums along to my sweet song, and i look out into the crowd. Everyones going nuts, its crazy. Spare for one person. They seem to be standing still amidst the rock-show-chaos.
"Who is that?" i ask. I look at this person closer. It's a short girl. The girl i wrote the song about.
We lock eyes. I read hers and they tell me a story of regret. Of sorrow and shame. She wishes she wasnt there. She wishes i had never writtent the song. And, more than anything, she wishes i never had a reason to write it.
The eterinty of eye-locking lasts about 4 measures. Then i go into some sweet-ass fill and forget about it.
We end the show like pros. We walk offstage. I look into the crowd again, and i see her in the same place, standing just as still as before, drilling her stare into my like space-age lazer beams.
The band hops into our van and we split for home. I don't look back.
I'm playing drums at a rock show, with my Hypothetical Band. Our name is The Froidian Symphony, and we're all wearing sweet clothes.
We're playing a song that I wrote the lyrics to. It's about this one girl I used to know. She was very pretty, and stole away like 6 months of my life. Can't say i was that happy about it at the time. So i wrote a song about the experience. It has piercing lyrics and a gut-wrenching, tear-jerking chorus.
(you gotta note, this daydream is like 2 years in the future. And you gotta note that it isnt ever gonna happen, i cant write songs.)
And so i'm playing drums along to my sweet song, and i look out into the crowd. Everyones going nuts, its crazy. Spare for one person. They seem to be standing still amidst the rock-show-chaos.
"Who is that?" i ask. I look at this person closer. It's a short girl. The girl i wrote the song about.
We lock eyes. I read hers and they tell me a story of regret. Of sorrow and shame. She wishes she wasnt there. She wishes i had never writtent the song. And, more than anything, she wishes i never had a reason to write it.
The eterinty of eye-locking lasts about 4 measures. Then i go into some sweet-ass fill and forget about it.
We end the show like pros. We walk offstage. I look into the crowd again, and i see her in the same place, standing just as still as before, drilling her stare into my like space-age lazer beams.
The band hops into our van and we split for home. I don't look back.
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